Gossip Girl Season Two Quotes

[ Meg]

2.01 Summer, Kind of Wonderful

Serena: I still miss Dan sometimes... more than sometimes.
Blair: The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey... is mourning Dan Humphrey.

Serena: Blair will never forgive you for what you did to her.
Chuck: Who told you that little piece of advice, your boyfriend Nate?
Serena: Nate didn't say anything ...
Chuck: Good. I don't think it's wise taking relationship advice from someone in a FAKE relationship. Call me crazy. (pause) Enjoy another night alone with your thoughts.
Serena: Good luck on your suicide mission!

Skank on Beach: Mister Chuck, is there anything you need caretaking of?
Chuck: The only thing I need to take care of... is you. (looks at other skanks) And you, and you ...

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Blair Waldorf at Charles de Gaulle, homeward bound. What could possibly make Queen B abandon her two dads before Labor Day? We bet Chuck Bass wants to know.

Gossip Girl: Ain't karma a *friendly*? We know Blair Waldorf is.

Gossip Girl: Chuck Bass waiting for the Jitney. A dozen roses in one hand, his heart in the other. You know what they say: A man is a good thing to come home for. But an even better thing to come home with.

Eric: [to Chuck] Yeah... 'How Well Do You Know Blair Waldorf' is a little boring to those of us who actually know Blair Waldorf.

Blair: darn that mother Chucker! He's totally right! I don't even like James!
Serena: Thank you. I was totally waiting for that.

Katherine: Well Nathaniel, you have a choice. Either under the bed or out the window.
Nate: Your husband? I thought he wasn't going to home until next week!
Katherine: Seems he's home early.

Dan: I've tried not to think about her all summer. I was afraid that if I did, that ... I'd see that I made a huge mistake.
Rufus: Well, you've been running all summer. Maybe it's time you turned around and faced it.

Eric: [about Chuck] He's got a P.I. on speed-dial?!

Blair: Is something wrong?
James: You're just using me to make that guy jealous.
Blair: I ...
James: It's no wonder you hate Charade. It hits too close to home.
Blair: Chuck is an awful person. He does awful things.
James: And you think you're any different? I can't believe I've been so stupid. I bet you don't even like me at all.
Blair: Not really. I mean... you're kinda boring.
James: Am I? Or are you just too interested in yourself to get to know me? You two deserve each other.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Serena and Nate in a massive display of PDA... and that's exactly what Dan Humphrey is. Pretty. darn. Angry.

James: We have something in common.
Blair: I look good too?
James: Not just that. I'm afraid I haven't been honest with you. It's what I was trying to tell you before ...
Blair: Okay spill it.
James: I don't go to Georgetown or Princeton or any other school for that matter. I'm afraid I slipped up on that detail. My name is actually Marcus Beaton. I'm actually British and... a Lord.

Gossip Girl: When words get in the way, there's really only one thing left to do.

Dan: I miss that little laugh of yours.

Serena: Dan... Dan wait.
Dan: No thank you.
Serena: Dan, I didn't expect to see you. You surprised me.
Dan: Well, I have to say... you didn't.

Katherine: Why did you kiss Serena?
Nate: You said we were through!
Katherine: I can't believe you would try to make me jealous in front of my husband and our friends.
Nate: [pause] Did it work?
Katherine: Completely.

Chuck: Please don't leave with him.
Blair: Why? Give me a reason... and "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count.
Chuck: 'Cause you don't want to.
Blair: That's not enough.
Chuck: 'Cause I don't want you to.
Blair: That's not enough.
Chuck: What else is there?
The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters. Say it... that I'm yours.
Chuck: I... I ... [pause]
Blair: Thank you. That's all I needed here.

Gossip Girl: They say summer love is fleeting. But sometimes what starts as a fling, can lead to the real thing. A simple trip to the beach can be all it takes to clear our heads and open our heads, and write a new ending to an old story. There are those who got burned by the heat. They just want to forget and start over. While there are others who want each moment to last forever. But everyone can agreed on one thing - tans fade, highlights go dark, and we all get sick of getting sand in our shoes. But summer is the beginning of a new season, so we find ourselves looking to the future. You ain't seen nothin' yet. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Nate: She knows ... that I'm seeing someone... that I'm not ready to introduce to everyone yet.
Katherine: [slams him against the seat]
Nate: ... Or ever?

Gossip Girl: Unlike the rest of us, sex lies and scandal never take a vacation. Instead, they take the Long Island Expressway and head east - to the Hamptons! Some of us would say summer is the busiest season. Think Park Avenue, but with Tennis whites, and Band de Soleil. The players change, but the game remains the same.

Blair: What about all those rumors about you and Nate?
Serena: Mmm mmm. Not true. They just got people off my back so I could stop being sad, and Nate could go do whatever he wants, so it worked out for both of us.
Blair: You mean you haven't had ANY fun with anyone all summer?
Serena: There's this hot lifeguard that asked me out, but I, you know, I turned him down
Blair: A hot lifeguard is like kleenex! Use once and throw away. You could ask for a better rebound!

Chuck: You're lying.
Blair: I am not.
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.
Blair: I wasn't aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?

Jenny: Look, I know I acted like a complete and total raging *friendly* last year, but what you don't know is how bad I felt about it all summer. You were the only person who was friends with me for me and I hurt you the worst.
Eric: Well, you did get yours in the end. And since I don't have many friends myself, I guess I could use every lying, manipulating, backstabbing one I can get. What did you have in mind?

Blair: Oh, a honk instead of a knock! Did someone order a townie?

Blair: I would be in my cabana at the Hotel de Cat, and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that... Chuck Bass-tard!

Blair: At least I could have gotten a more interesting stand-in than James. You know how hard it is to find a good fake boyfriend on short notice?

Chuck: [to Nate] By the way Archibald, now that the summer's over I can tell you I never believed any of the talk that you hit it with my sis... [sees Blair] morning, Waldorf!
Blair: It was until now.

Dan: [to Serena] I haven't been able to get you out of my head all summer. I was hoping when I saw you, I would know that we did the right thing. But I don't feel that way. I don't feel that way at all.

2.02 Never Been Marcused

Gossip Girl: As summer comes to an end, I'd like to share a few things I've learned about fun in the sun. Gossip Girl's guide to summer fun tip #1: Don't fall asleep on the job. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation. The only thing better than making up ... is waking up.

Serena: I'm just a little ...
Dan: Overwhelmed?
Serena: Confused.

Serena: I just think that we should ... think, before we get back together.
Dan: I thought this meant we were back together.

Serena: [to Dan] Okay. I will see you back in the city. Fully clothed. With lots of people around. Okay?

Gossip Girl: Summer Tip #2. There is no "we" in summer. Only u and me.

Blair: [to Marcus] Don't worry. I'm well versed in your lordly ways. And I'm ready to meet the queen... which I also just watched on DVD.

Blair: I have to get back to the city. Senior year awaits.
Marcus: Let's see. Beautiful girl. Autumn in New York. I think I can find some way to entertain myself. My family will be happy I'm staying in one place for awhile.

Serena: And you really expect me to believe this isn't all about revenge on Chuck?
Blair: Revenge is so 12 hours ago!

Blair: Just because Marcus is the perfect post-Bass palate cleanser doesn't mean he isn't a tasty dish of his own!

Serena: Blair Waldorf, a fling? You're not exactly low maintenance.

Blair: Squash? I'll squash YOU.
Chuck: It's just a game, Blair.
Blair: Not to me, Bnot a very nice person. I like him!
Chuck: So do I. And apparently he doesn't have too many friends.

Gossip Girl: Summer Tip #3. Take time to stop and smell the flowers. It's true that all good things must come to an end. August is no exception. They don't call it Fall for nothing.

Catherine: [leaving voicemail] Nate, it's Catherine. Last night... was not smart. In fact, it was very, very stupid. Which is why we're going to have to be much more clever when we get back to the city. Call me when you get this.

Gossip Girl: Cheers to that, Blair. Nothing says welcome home like a bottle of bubbly... or a scandal bubbling.

Nate: No offense, but don't you think you're a little outmatched?
Chuck: At squash? I've been playing my father since 8th grade, how good can Marcus be?
Nate: No, I mean as a guy. Blair wants to be a princess and your greatest achievement is owning PART of a burlesque club.
Chuck: Which is why I have to get to know him. No one is that perfect. Once I get him outta the way, I'll have a clear shot with Blair.
Nate: You know it's love when you start talking like an assassin.
Chuck: I think you're jealous of my new best friend!

Rufus: Does this place actually serve coffee, or what?
Vanessa: Yes, it does!

Marcus: No one's ever good enough. I've dated a lot of top-flight girls and she always sends them running. She gets inside their heads, figures out their worst fears and then ...
Chuck: ... ruthlessly exploits that fear. Sounds rough.

Gossip Girl: Spotted, Chuck Bass putting his new BFF on speed dial. Is it the beginning of a beautiful bro-mance? Or the end of Blair's bid to be British?

Serena: Well, if you can't find common ground with a dictator, I don't know who can.
Blair: Dan likes soccer, right? Or football, as Marcus calls it? Think it would be too weird if he came?
Serena: Not... necessarily ...
Blair: Good, you'll call him?
Serena: Does this mean you actually think Dan has a redeeming quality?
Blair: As long as knows his arse from his Arsenal, I think he's aces.

Serena: This could be a good opportunity for us to talk about things, I'm still kind of down about the breakup...
Blair: What is there to talk about? You're finally free of Downer Dan and I've got my old Serena back!

Dan: I was just thinking about... this morning... on the bus ...
Serena: Yeah, we didn't exactly stick to the plan, did we?

Nate: They're obviously just trying to scare us to get me to rat out my Dad.
Vanessa: You do know where he is, right?
Nate: Yeah but... I couldn't. Not even after what he's done.
Vanessa: Just had to put it out there... But I promise if worse comes to worse, my sister and I can give your mom pointers on how to do more with less.
Nate: [laughs]

Catherine: Charles Bass?
Chuck: [pauses] I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone so young... or so beautiful.
Catherine: Just because I didn't give birth to Marcus doesn't mean I'm any less interested in his well-being.

Dan: [to Serena, about Blair/Marcus] So, she actually refers to him as The Lord?

Chuck: I thought you might like to meet my friend.
Blair: Why, so she can warn me bout the effects of too much botox?
Catherine: Blair, is it? I'm Duchess Beaton.
Blair: [flabbergasted] Duchess? Nice to meet you.

Blair: Duchess? I'm so sorry, for what I said about the botox. Your work is flawless.

Blair: I know you're here with Chuck, and I can only imagine what he said about me. Limo sex, social torture, freshmen, blackmail. But I assure you, there's an explanation for all of it.
Catherine: Save your breath, Blair. Chuck didn't tell me a thing.
Blair: He didn't.
Catherine: I told him it didn't make any difference to me, because ... despite your best efforts, which are completely transparent, by the way, Marcus will never end up with a lowly Waldorf.

Blair: This party's a complete bust. My whole life's a bust.

Gossip Girl: What's this? Chuck's date and Blair's date are mother and son? And Nate and Blair are exes? And Nate and the mother are in a book club? Now there's a novel plot twist.

Serena: This is you. Just be yourself!
Blair: [after being humiliated by Catherine] She made Waldorf rhyme with Spears! I may as well have gone commando and held my party at Nyla's Burger Basket.
Serena: Fine. While you stand here and feel sorry for yourself and denigrate the fine people of Kentwood, I'm gonna go find Dan.

Serena: [makes move on Dan] What do you say we ... just forget thinking and... follow our hearts.
Dan: You sure that's your heart you're following?

Blair: [sees Nate and Catherine on the floor] Oh my effing God!

Jenny: What about you, Dad? You were the one on the great American road trip? Any good stories?
Rufus: Oh, well, there's no place like home.
Dan: That's profound.

Blair: Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus' mommy is even sicker than you are.
Chuck: You got along great?
Blair: I think she recognized herself in me. Or rather, I recognized something in her.
Chuck: I don't follow.
Blair: All you need to know is, you lost. It was a solid effort.
Chuck: Tomorrow's another day.
Blair: Good night, Chuck.

Gossip Girl: Summer vacationers traverse the globe in search of new sights and experiences. But when it comes to scandal, I'll take Manhattan every time. Welcome home, Upper East Siders. You know you missed me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Blair: Notice how my voice didn't go up at the end? Not a question.

Blair: I thought you were just a callow social-climbing former swimsuit model who married above her station and was enslaved by her own insecurities.

Dan: There's a force larger than us at work here.

Blair: It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!

2.03 The Dark Night

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Lady B acting not so lady-like. Hope you kept the receipt for that tiara, B.

Serena: I'm scared.
Dan: Me too.
Serena: When I step out of here, it's over.
Dan: I think... I think it was already. It just took us this long to realize, and get used to it.

Dan: Serena... I still ...
Serena: I know. Me too.
[elevator door closes]
Serena: ... I love you.

Catherine: Ralph Lauren adores you.
Nate: Did you hear what I just said?
Catherine: I did. What happened to the money I gave you?
Nate: It's gone, but I can repay you back as soon as our accounts are unfrozen.
Catherine: Which won't be until your father returns from... where was it? Dominica?
Nate: I told you that in confidence!
Catherine: You told me that in bed.

Vanessa: Calling him won't look desperate?
Jenny: It will. It will. It will. But in a cute, romantic way.

Blair: We've been dating for awhile, so I thought ...
Marcus: I feel the same way. But you're very special. I want the moment to equal it.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: S and Lonely Boy locking lips like all is forgiven. Will round two be any better?

Gossip Girl: If you can't stand the heat ... there's always a cold shower.

Gossip Girl: In these last hazy days of summer, a few simple tips to beat the heat: 1. Drink plenty of fluids. 2. Stay out of the sun. 3. Limit all physical activity... that is, within reason.

Jenny: Ahhhh! Dan! You guys are together! You're back together! It wasn't a doctored photo?
Dan: No, we are. We just haven't... told anybody yet.

Nate: [to Vanessa] When you called the other day, it was like... I could breathe again.

Blair: [about Marcus] You know he wasn't pressured me about sex? Not once! [sad] Not once...

Serena: Why can't you support me?
Blair: Have you two talked about everything? The very real reasons you broke up last year?
Serena: Not... completely.
Blair: Well, when you do, if you're still together, then I'll be happy for you. Until then I think you're just fooling yourself.

Serena: Who was that?
Chuck: A whiff of the Far East.
Serena: Sometimes I envy you. Wait, what am I saying? You're disgusting.

Rufus: [to Vanessa] He's not still reading one of those Dan and Serena should-be-or-shouldn't-be threads is he?

Serena: I'm sorry, I'm not laughing. It's just so obvious. You're not over Blair. This is your body's way of telling you!
Chuck: I don't have a romantic bone in my body. Least of all that one. But you do raise an interesting idea. Clearly there's some kind of ... blockage.
[pauses] Perhaps ...
Serena: No!
Chuck: One more go-around, just to clear the pipes.
Serena: You are not using Blair as sexual Drano!

Serena: [laughing awkwardly] What ... was that?
Dan: That was Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl: Looks like Lady B is determined to have it all. Question is... who with?

Blair: Marcus wait!
Marcus: Did you really not know it was him? Can you honestly tell me that?
Blair: I knew it was him.
Marcus: Thank you.
Blair: But I want you!
Marcus: No Blair. You want my title. The idea of who I am. But you clearly want him. Which makes me a fool. Because I really did want you. I DO want you.
Blair: Then show me! I'm not some delicate little flower. Show me!

Marcus [sees Blair and Chuck] ... Blair!
Blair: ohmigod, ohmigod.
Marcus: Blair, what is it?
Blair: You don't understand! I thought it was you! He had an accent!
Chuck: Please, you knew exactly who it was.

Nate: Vanessa? I couldn't find her. Vanessa?!
Catherine: [turns on lights] Your friend had to leave. Was there something you wanted to tell me?

Serena: I forgive you... for Georgina.
Dan: And I forgive you ...
Serena: We keep having this same fight. At Bart's brunch, a year ago. At the wedding...
Dan: Where we talked about the fight at Bart's brunch.
Serena: And now here. [pauses] I can't change who I am, Dan.
Dan: Me neither.

Serena: What do you want, Dan? For me to never say my name?
Dan: That's not what I said.
Serena: We thought we could avoid talking about last year, well? This is fate telling us we can't.

Gossip Girl: Love may fade with the season, but some friendships are year round. Like you and me! You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Dan: Why'd you tell him to stay with that woman? Y'know, I thought you liked him.
Vanessa: I do. That's why I did it.
Dan: I don't understand.
Vanessa: She told me that if Nate left her, she would go to the FBI and tell them where Nate's dad is hanging out. So ... I really didn't have a choice.

Dan: I can't believe Nate Archibald is a gigolo.
Vanessa: You can't tell anyone!
Dan: Who? Who would I tell? Except everyone I've ever met. [pauses] I won't.

Chuck: [hooking up in limo] This isn't gonna work.
Random Girl: I thought you said you're better!
Chuck: I am... just not for you.

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

They are so great!

[ Meg]

2.04 The Ex-Files

Chuck: You're about to see the real Serena.

Blair: This girl is Dan with boobs.

Dan: You should put a bell on.
Chuck: Kinky. I'll think about it.

Blair: Are those Tory Burch's last-season flats?
Girl: ... I got them on sale?

Blair: The Met steps are totally under construction.

Gossip Girl: Sound the trumpet, strumpets!

Dan: Google revenge and you get BlairWaldorf.com.

Dan: But... why?
Chuck: They anoint Amanda into their fold, she'll be bound by their laws. Namely she won't be allowed to date ex-boyfriends. Namely you.

Chuck: She's not coming. Amanda.
Dan: What are you talking about?
Chuck: She met some new friends, they extended an invitation to her for lunch. Hockey sticks were involved. You know how persuasive our girls can be.

Nate: You crash the party, and tell me to break it off with Catherine. Then you pull a 180 and tell me to stay with her. And then you just bolt. I mean, did I do something? Or... what happened?
Vanessa: I'm late.
Nate: Oh so that's it. We're not even friends now?
Vanessa: We were never really friends, Nate.

Vanessa: Nate? What are you doing here?
Nate: You haven't returned my phone calls.
Vanessa: I've ... been busy.

Serena: Blair? What is going on?
Blair: This is Amanda. She'll be joining us for lunch.
Serena: Blair.
Blair: It's for your own good, S. They were going to lunch together. Lunch! As in the meal before dating? Is that what you want, S?

Isabel: [to Amanda] We know. Dan Humphrey? Bad idea.
Blair: It could be hazardous to your health.

Blair: Hi! My name's Blair! You're new ...
Amanda: Hi, I'm Am-
Blair: Oh, that's not important. We'd like to invite you to lunch!

Jenny: You'd be the worst P.I. ever.
Dan: I don't wanna be caught off guard. I can't believe I haven't seen her ...
Jenny: Yeah, especially since you're in the GIRLS hallway looking for her. Just be nice. I'm sure this isn't easy for Serena either.

Jenny: It was like I didn't even exist!
Dan: Mmm. Welcome to my world. It's not so bad when you get used to birds flying at your head and automatic doors never opening.

Jenny: Well I guess it's better to be ignored than tortured, right?
Dan: Always look on the bright side.

[ Meg]

2.05 The Serena Also Rises

Chuck: It's like the plague. Only instead of vermin on my doorstep, I get the human being. Beat it, Humphrey. My sister doesn't dig stalkers.

Dan: I know... we don't like each other. You think I'm a boring, sheltered nobody.
Chuck: I don't think of you.

Dan: I've come to the conclusion that I need to get out of my comfort zone. To experience some new things.
Chuck: Are you homosexual?

Dan: I just need to get out of Brooklyn. For one night. I'd like to experience the world of Chuck Bass.
Chuck: You're lucky I'm bored.
Dan: Is that a yes?
Chuck: Get in, before I change my mind.

Chuck: Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much joy.
Blair: And you know what you give to everybody else, Chuck? Misery. There's a reason you're always out here alone.

Chuck: Nate just happens to be away at his grandparents'.
Blair: Nate is only friends with you out of habit! The only person with fewer friends than you is Dan Humphrey and even his lame, '90s dad likes him. And that's because he's something you'll never be. A human being.

Blair: Don't they know that without me, they'd never see the inside of a fashion tent? They'd be stuck behind the barricades with PETA! In fact, maybe I will leave them outside with PETA. Maybe that will teach them some manners!

Blair: Don't ever go to high school, Dorota. The girls are spoiled, stupid and ungrateful! One snapshot with a socialite and it's all Serena, Serena, Serena!

Blair: Who put Serena and that Poppy person in the front row!? And all those socialites?! Someone changed this chart! The chart MY mother asked me to do! Who changed it?!
Dorota: Eleanor say ... Miss Jenny change it.
Blair: Jenny Humphrey?! Guess she didn't learn her lesson last year. Looks like someone needs a refresher course.

Dan: How do you know so many twins?
Chuck: Twins find me?

Dan: Well, look, I gotta admit, this ... this was awesome. We gotta do this again.

Chuck: Arthur! Pull over!
Dan: This isn't Brooklyn. Aren't you taking me home?
Chuck: Get out.
Dan: Wait, no, I don't -
Chuck: Tonight was nothing. You're just a drunken idiot. My amusement for the night.
Dan: Can I at least have my shoes?

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Dan Humphrey, shoeless and clueless. That's all!

Chuck: For what it's worth, Humphrey, you had my back. Never thought I'd say this, but thanks.

Eleanor: I told Laurel my daughter could make a better seating chart than that drug-addled publicist. It's a blessing she was hauled off to rehab for stealing her son's Ritallin.

Dan: Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle?

Laurel: Kirsten Dunst? So 2007. Her rehab barely made the radar.

Shapiro: You sent me five stories all about a sheltered young man with girl problems who lives with his dad in Brooklyn. You think that's going to knock the Yale admissions committee off their tenured asses?

Dan: If I have to exploit people to be a good writer, then maybe I don't want to be a good writer.

Shapiro: You think Capote got national acclaim for In Cold Blood by judging the murderers?

Gossip Girl: They say in fashion that you can become a success overnight. But one minute you're in, and the next, you're out.

Chuck: I hope they make a Humphrey sandwich.

Dan: I'm good with just one.
Chuck: You're either in for the full ride, or you're out.
Dan: [pauses] Okay, pass me the shots.
Chuck: That's just a chaser.
Dan: What is that?
Chuck: Does it matter? Down the rabbit hole, then we go out the door.

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

Thanks for sharing, they are great!!

[ Meg]

6.06 New Haven Can Wait

Yale Guy: Chuck Bass, we've been waiting for you.

Blair: I swear to God I will take you down.

Serena: You did NOT just do that.

[ Meg]

6.08 Pret a Poor Jenny

Dorota: Don't forget, God always watching Miss Blair.

Gossip Girl: Every girl dreams about finding her Prince Charming
But if that prince refuses to come?

Dan: So he just got up and left, abruptly?
Blair: Like a Bass out of hell.

Aaron: Do you know how to weld?
Serena: Um, I've seen Flashdance several times?

Dan: Wow. Someone loves Chuck Bass.

Agnes: I mean, you can do whatever you want to do, but what do you think people will say when they see Jenny Humphrey has finally gone out on her own?
Jenny: I dunno... Jenny Humphrey is so young to have her own line?
Agnes: Or, too bad Jenny Humphrey's stuff looks exactly like Eleanor Waldorf's.

Agnes: Okay, seriously, you work your ass off, and for what? So Eleanor can rip off your ideas?
Jenny: No, Eleanor promised that I could be in the meetings with the buyers from Mendels and Barney's today.
Agnes: Just like she introduced you to the guy from Bloomingdale's.

Jenny: Agnes, I'm gonna kill you.
Agnes: No, dude, I know, trust me, I'm sorry, I just got all of your messages. Look, here, take the dress and ... I don't think you should give this to Eleanor, by the way. I mean, my friends, they FREAKED over it last night.
Jenny: Great! I don't care.

Eleanor: You are lucky that I don't fire you this minute.
Jenny: You are lucky that I don't just quit!

Agnes: You should do your own clothing
line.
Jenny: You really think so?

Agnes: I love your dress.
Jenny: I made it, actually.

Chuck: I gave you a shot, and while your efforts were admirable ... I'm bored. You ruined my pants. Goodnight, Blair.

Chuck: I'll have one drink with you. Unless you can convince why I should stay of course.
Blair. Well, just because we've reached an impasse at a certain issue doesn't mean we can't be friends.

Blair: I've been thinking about changing my signature scent. I've been trying out a new one, I can't decide if I like it. Would you mind?
Chuck: [sniffs Blair] Smells a little like desperation.

Dan: Seeing you the other night was very nice. I know the first leg of the Dan-Serena let's be friends tour was a disaster, but...
Serena: Well, we were young and stupid then. Now we're older and wiser.
Blair: You have to help me destroy Chuck Bass!
Dan: I'll take that as my cue to leave.
Blair: Aww, you're very perceptive!

Blair: Just because you two are making a doomed attempt at being friends doesn't mean I have to play the enabler.

Blair: I have an itch that only Chuck can scratch and he won't oblige unless I tell him I love him.
Dan: You need help getting Chuck to sleep with you? Really?
Blair: [to Serena] You hear the judgment in his voice right now right?
Serena: He's working
on that.

Dan: DO you love him?
Blair: NO! No, of course not.
Dan. So why don't you just say it to get what you want? Frat guys have been doing that since ... forever.
Blair: I can't! If I say it then Chuck wins.
Dan: But... if you say it then you get him and you win.

Blair: I was thinking I'd just disappear for awhile. Give him a taste of life without me.
Dan: No, that's a terrible idea. Don't disappear. Become unavoidable. Chuck may be a deviant but he's still a man. Drive him crazy. Wear him down. You should be good at that.
Blair: Look who finally got a little interesting.
Dan: I'm sure it's a fluke.

[ Meg]

6.09 There Might be Blood

Emma: They call him the de-virginator.
Blair: Oh my God, stop your mouth from moving.
Emma: But now that I finally have the night away from my mom and dad, we'll see who's first. We're saying TTFN to my you know what.
Blair: Or maybe we'll see how your mom feels about your little clearance sale, little Lohan.

Chuck: The only thing I like that aged is my Scotch.
Emma: What, it's old people? Blair told me it was all hot guys!
Chuck: Sounds to me like you've been taken for a ride.
Emma: How about you take me for a ride instead?
Chuck: Looks like you just hooked yourself a Bass.

Serena: There are other schools besides Yale. Like Princeton.
Blair: Princeton is a trade school.

Aaron: I could explain who Tamara is and why she was at my apartment last night, but the fact is, you feel something or you don't. If you're looking for an excuse to keep us apart, that's fine.

Emma: But you're perfect!
Blair: True.

Blair: Emma, I was thinking, where is the glory in bedding down with some dirty Manhattan hipster who's probably filming you on Nanny Cam?

Agnes: Why do you keep eating those pot brownies, Manny? You know sugar makes you spazz.

Emma: So I checked out Gossip Girl and I'm thinking we hit Socialista before we get to Beatrice.

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

They are great!!!

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

Some more of episode 8:

Jenny: How could you do that to me?
Nate: What are you talking about? You're lucky that I showed up when I did. That was a bad scene, Jenny.
Jenny: WHAT?? No it wasn't, okay. We were dancing in our underwear, not making a porno.
Nate: Not yet anyway.
Jenny: No, not ever. I would never get myself in a situation like that. I know what I'm doing, Nate.
Nate: No, I know you think you do, but that guy was taking advance of you.
Jenny: Okay, you are not my father and you are not my brother, so why do you care so much?
Nate: Because...

[ Meg]

6.10 Bonfire of the Vanity

Blair: I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday. Instead I got a conscience.

Cyrus: Ah, the mythical Serena.
Serena: How did you know who I was?

Blair: Dorota, are you insane?
Dorota: I don't know.
Blair: You used the everyday china. Cyrus will think we're just common upper-middle class. Get the Auberge and hurry up!

Blair: I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me.

Aaron: Well, I'm seeing lots of people. I don't know how it works in high school, but I like to date more than one person at a time.

Serena: We broke up, remember?
Aaron: How did we break up if we're not going out?

Hazel: Beggars can't be choosers.

Aaron: I don't want the same life that my parents had. Social obligations, saying no to all the things I want to say yes to ... I thought you felt the same way. If I was wrong, I apologize.

Gossip Girl: Poor little orphan Jenny, looks like she needs a Daddy Warbucks, but Daddy Warbucks don't grow on trees. At least on a tree that grows in Brooklyn.

Chuck: It will ruin our family. Don't do it. Please.

Aaron: Do you want to get dressed?
Serena: Nope.

Blair: Screw Grace Kelly. I need a scheme.
Dorota: Oh no...
Blair: That tiny man must have a secret I can exploit.

Dorota: You glow, Mrs. Waldorf. Like Chinese lantern.
Eleanor: It's love, Dorota.

Blair: How can you possibly love Cyrus? He's all the things you hate! He uses the wrong fork, he slurps his soup, he wears sport socks! He is short, and pushy! He's nothing like daddy.
Eleanor: Which is precisely why I like him. Harold was lovely in a million ways, but he had his secrets. Cyrus is someone I can trust... Before I go see Cyndi Lauper I have to get my hair done, pick up my dress at Barney's. Would you like to come with?
Blair: No! Thanks. But have fun.

Cyrus: Blair I would love to fill this whole penthouse with peonies for your birthday but will you allow me to purchase them from somewhere else, it's the principle of the thing!
Blair: I prefer to get my own peonies from my own florist, but thank you so much.

Blair: [to Cyrus] My mother's coming to my party.
Eleanor: What? You never want me at your parties.
Blair: This year's different! I'm 18 and it's a grown-up party. I emailed Dorota a new guest list. Parents are invited.
Cyrus: I'll return the tickets ...
Eleanor: Nonsense. Blair and I will celebrate her birthday on her REAL birthday next week. WE are going to see Cyndi Lauper!

Jenny: And yet another one bites the bust, Agnes. What is the matter with you?! This guy was our last chance!
Agnes: Okay he totally overreacted! We're artists! We need to work with somebody who's not gonna be freaked out by a little bit of passion.
Jenny: Passion. You know the heat from the fashion show's not gonna last that long ...
Agnes: Jenny, I will find us another business manager tomorrow.
Jenny: Good, because without one we can't meet with any buyers.
Agnes: It's all gonna work out, okay? I'm on it.

Agent: Who do you imagine your client will be?
Agnes: Girls like us-
Jenny: Sophisticated girls with a bit of edge, and who can afford a high-end product. I know these girls and their style because I'm their peer, and that's what makes me unique as a designer.

Agent: You girls have been getting a lot of press. You've got talent. Who's the designer?
Jenny: It's me.
Agnes: And I'm the face of the line, and brains of the operation.

Dan: I'm kinda over the writing thing, and I wanna see what else is out there. You're easily the most successful person I know so I figured, why not start at the top. You know, I was hoping I'd be able to shadow you for a few days a week after school.
Bart: I'm a busy man, Daniel, I don't think that's going to be possible.
Dan: Right, of course. I don't want to impose. It's just that ... you know, well, my dad, his world is pretty narrow. He may have had a hit song in the '90s but he didn't build half the Manhattan skyline.
Bart: Your father's a fine man, but I can see how you'd want something more. Why don't we start with two days a week?

Serena: Plenty of women have been both lover and muse to famous artists. Like Picasso.
Blair: Serena, a guy start's out in his blue period and everything's great. But it's only a matter of time until he's all into cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead.
Serena: Okay, I'm going to go.
Blair: Wait, what about the gnome? I have to take him down!

Blair: He's totally unsuitable.
Serena: Who?
Blair: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!

Blair: Serena, I called you like 10 times last night! Where have you been?
Serena: I went to the dentist at lunch, and yesterday, I met Aaron in Times Square. B, it was the most romantic thing...
Blair: Who cares about plaque or pretentious artists when your best friend is having a meltdown!

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

They are awesome!!

[ Meg]

2.13 O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

Chuck: Gotta go, can't talk.
Blair: Go where, everyone you know is standing in this room.
Chuck: I don't wanna be here.
Eric: We want you here. I just lost my stepfather... I don't wanna lose my brother too.
Chuck: When are you going to get it? We are not related.

Nate: What's he talking about?
Blair: Who knows? When we found him, his shoes were on the wrong feet.

Chuck: What are YOU doing HERE?!
Blair: He's just upset, and loaded-
Chuck: What are YOU doing at my father's funeral? You think I WANT you here?
Dan: Chuck, if this is about the article, you know I didn't write it.
Chuck: You think I CARE about your failed attempt at investigative journalism?! My father's DEAD because of your father.

Cece: I gave her a chance to tell you. She didn't take it. In fact, she asked me to pay a lot of money to make the problem go away.
Rufus: But you didn't do that, did you?
Cece: The real problem is that she's in love with you.
Rufus: Why is that a problem?
Cece: Because so long as she holds on to this, the two of you don't have a chance in hell of making this work. I want you to have this chance. Don't you?

Chuck: I can't believe you'd want this to become public knowledge.
Lily: What is that?
Chuck: Oh, it's exactly what you think it is.
Lily: But my mother—
Chuck: Lied to you. And Mr. Tyler. Judging by the look on your face, I'm guessing it wasn't your idea to come clean.

Cece: What are you going to do about the fact that you're in love with Rufus Humphrey?
Lily: Well, I'm not sure I'm going to do anything. At least not right away.
Cece: So you are in love with him... I was fishing
.

Dan: Look Serena, if you want to go, go. If you don't, don't. I can't tell you who to be with.
Serena: No but you can tell me how you feel.
Dan: How do you feel? About your boyfriend who wants to take you to South America?
Serena: Well, I mean, he's really great. I like him a lot.
Dan: Well, that's your answer then.

Chuck: Disrespecting your marriage... betraying my father with Rufus Humphrey.
Lily: I did no such thing.
Chuck: He was coming to fight for you. Talk about dying for nothing.

Lily: I know you're upset but we all really need each other right now.
Chuck: Don't touch me, *friendly*!
Lily: Charles, please. You need to be with your family.
Chuck: Family? I don't have a family.

Nate: Maybe we should have just left him at The Palace.
Blair: It's his father's funeral. He needs to be here and pay his respects.
Chuck: [wasted] Respect. My father wasn't shown much of that in his final days.

Lily: I'm sorry we haven't spoken since the Ball. I really appreciate your messages.
Rufus: All I want to say is that I'm here. If you want me to keep my distance I can do that too. I um, can't imagine what you're going through.
Lily: Actually you can better than anyone else can. Everyone's so concerned about the grieving widow. But as much as I feel shock and loss, mostly I feel guilt.

Gossip Girl: More towers than Trump, more bucks than Bloomberg. Bart Bass definitely made his mark on Manhattan. The passing of a public figure can shake a whole town. But the real story is always the one happening in private. Away from the headlines. At home.

Blair: Whatever you're going through, I wanna be there for you.
Chuck: We've talked about this. You are not my girlfriend.
Blair: But I am me. And you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything.
Chuck: And why would you do that.
Blair: Because I love you.
Chuck: Well, that's too bad.

Blair: [to Nate] I'm not maternal, I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish. Come on, I see kugel.

Eric: We know that's gin in your coffee cup
Cece: Exactly. Life must go on, as it always has.

Blair: Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist.

Blair: Humphrey. What are you doing here?
Dan: I carried the garment bag

Rufus: Lil, I'm waiting for you this time. Six months, six years. I'll be here.

Lily: What a nice photo. Remind me to send a thank-you note to the photo editor.

Cece: The closing of this chapter leads to the opening of the next one.

Lily: If you're looking for Bart's will, you don't have to worry.
Chuck: I'm not. But you should be. I'm trying to find your file.
Lily: Well it's not here so you can stop ransacking the place and look at me.
Chuck: I can't look at you, Lily. You disgust me.

Lily: [to Chuck] The only reason he got in that car is because you called him.

Eleanor: I was thinking something in a jacket, very YSL.
Jenny: Mick and Bianca, 1971, great reference.

Serena: Thank you so much for being such a rock these past few days. It's meant so much having you around.
Dan: Yeah well, it's not a problem. It just, it feels natural.
Serena: It does, doesn't it?

Rufus: I just have one question. Was it a boy or a girl?

Serena: I don't know if I can go away right now. My family is a disaster. My brother is lonely, my mother is losing it, and Chuck has publicly disowned our family.
Aaron: Are you sure it's your family you don't want to leave, or someone else?

Lily: We're doing comfort food: nobody is comforted by a tuna tower.

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

I love those!!!

[ Meg]

2.14 In the Realm of the Basses

Blair:I'm not abandoning Chuck, I'm just saving myself.

Gossip Girl: (opening voiceover) Gossip Girl here, welcoming you to the new year, when Manhattenites, who flew south for the sun, return to their Park Avenue perches. Which means I have a lot of catching up to do. Word is, Serena van der Woodsen tangoed in the new year in the plazas of Buenos Aires. Guess that means Lonely Boy was all alone when the clock tolled twelve. And what of Little J? Rumor is she's trading runways for hallways. So long high fashion, hello high school.

Gossip Girl: (closing voiceover) Ah me. The year's scarcely turned and already the secrets have begun. Where will it end this time? The new year isn't about what happened, it's about what's to come. But the past is always with us, just waiting to mess with the present. And when it does, I'll be watching. XOXO. Gossip Girl.

Jack: Chuck, your father wouldn't want this.
Chuck: Fortunately, all I know is what he didn't want.. which is me.

Dan: What do you know about my dad and Lily?
Chuck: The cat's out of the bag.
Dan: I found some numbers. My dad was supposed to be going to Boston to look for an artist. He was apparently visiting some orphanages.
Chuck: How dickensian.

Chuck: (to Dan) That's the problem with an open invitation. Can't keep out the hoi-polloi.

Serena: B. Is everything OK? I came as fast as I could.
Blair: Fine. False alarm.
Serena: Wait. What happened?
Blair: Chuck. He's holed up at Victrola in some Jim Morrison downward spiral. Sad in a way. Luckily it's not my concern.

Blair: Chuck. Stop. All this doesn't help. It isn't you.
Chuck: Wrong. Bart may have been a bastard but he saw me better than anyone. Simply living up to my potential. It's time to let go of your fantasies.

Serena: Hey, did Jack find Chuck?
Blair: Yeah, what was left of him. I'm surprised they made it through customs. Chuck's body odor could have given a contact-high to half of Manhattan.

Chuck: (shouts) I'm Chuck Bass. (Pause) No one cares.
Blair: I do. Don't you understand? I'll always be here, I don't want you going anywhere, I couldn't bear it. So whatever you wanna do to yourself, please don't do that to me. (reaches to Chuck) Please!

Jack: Chuck! (Chuck loses the balance)
Blair: No! (to Jack) You, idiot! You're not surprise him when standing on the edge of the building.

Blair: Hey, Eric, have you seen Chuck?
Eric: A while ago, he said something about wanting to take a view from above.
Jack: He probably meant upstairs.
Blair: Clearly you don't know Chuck. He has a thing for the roof tops.

Eric: Welcome back! How was Thailand?
Chuck: I honestly don't remember.
Eric: You should come home, Chuck.
Chuck: (grabs a bottle of scotch) I think I'll take in the view from above. It was nice having you as my little brother.

Chuck: Lily and her mother kept it as secret, gave the kid away. I imagine your dad just find out. (pointing at Serena) And now there is one more person to tell. Of course as soon as you do, it's over between you and S. But sharing a sibling it's a bit too much.. even for me.

Serena: (Dan hugs her) Oh, hey. This is my news. When I was in Buenos Aires.. (Blair interrupts Serena)
Blair: A postcard would've been fine. I'm really happy for you. I'm going to go vomit now.
Dan: Happy New Year!
Serena: She just needs time.

Serena: He was probably thinking about you the whole time he was gone.
Blair: Not unless I was a Thai hooker named Bo.

Penelope: The only way Nelly is leaving is in a body bag.

Blair: I have to go. That piece of work - Chuck Bass - needs me. And Serena and her mother are wonderful kind of people.
Lady from the club: Blair, do you know what you're doing?
Blair: I thought I was leaving high school behind. I guess you never do. Dorota will get your coats.

Gossip Girl: Spotted at Victrola, Lonely Boy and Chuck Bass having heart to heart. What or who do they have talk about? And will Serena will be the last to know?

Gossip Girl: One thing about being on the top of the world.. it gives you a long, long way to fall.

Isabel: Blair's leaving us behind, it's like the end of an era.

Blair: The circumstances are most extenuating. Can we forgive it this one time?
Headmistress Queller: (to Chuck) Would you promise me that nothing like this will ever happen again?
Chuck: (pulls a second joint from his pocket and lights it) For you, Headmistress, anything. Everyone, it's been a pleasure.

Gossip Girl: Pop quiz. What do you get when you cross Chuck Bass, a billion dollars and Bart cold in the ground?

Jack: What seems to be the problem?
Headmistress Queller: I found Charles smoking marijuana on school property.
Chuck: Hash actually. I find it gives a softer high.
Jack: Sounds to me like the evidence is questionable.

Chuck: Uncle Jack, what a surprise. How've you been?
Jack: Uh-huh, so I take it you don't remember our rickshaw ride down Selon Road? The fifteen hour flight?
Chuck: ... that was you?

Jack: I get Bart dying has been difficult. But the way things've been handled the last couple weeks, you shut away like Gloria Swanson, my nephew MIA in a Thai bordello, my big brother may not've won parent-of-the-year, but I doubt he'd be too happy.
Lily: Well, you needn't worry yourself anymore. Chuck is my step-son. I'll take care of him.
Jack: WAS your step-son. And as Chuck's last living relative, I have to say -- I don't feel comfortable leaving him in this situation. (Jack blissfully unconcerned) You should eat. People grieving tend to neglect their health.

Jack Bass: Blair, you came to greet us.
Blair: Not you. Chuck. You said you found him.
Jack Bass: In Bangkok. He was staying at our hotel there. You hear the term "den of iniquity", but until you really see one --
Blair: Do you have him or not?

2.15 Gone with the Will

Blair: (to Nate) I wouldn't have come to this party if I knew I wasn't VIP.
Nate: The important thing is that Chuck knows we're here for him.

Gossip Girl: (closing voiceover) The problem with inheritance, is that it's not always as simple as it sounds. Sometimes you get more than you bargained for. Or you discover that in gaining one thing, you've lost something else. But every once in a while, the fates smile upon you, and you get the one thing you really need. XOXO. Gossip Girl.

Blair: (to Chuck) I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You're the only one that didn't. All I wanted to do is just be there but today when you called me your wife, made it sound like the ugliest word in the world.

Gossip Girl: Hold on to your floppy cable-knit hats, kids. Lonely Boy's secret is out and this one's a doozie. D wasn't cheating, but there's definitely a third party involved. Seems D and S share a sibling. While I'm always a fan of star-crossed lovers, at least Romeo and Juliet didn't share DNA.

Blair: (to Serena) Spare me those expressive eyebrows. I can't wait til you get botox.

Penelope: You stole Dan Humphrey's phone? Not bad, Nelly, at this rate you'll be off probation before your second marriage.

Chuck: Your blessing means a lot to me.
Jack: Good. Now before we start sthingying, I want to take you out tonight to properly celebrate.

Vanessa: Hey, I'm thinking one pink can of gummy worms and another of Swedish fish.
Dan: Is this how you and Nate want to celebrate two months of dating? With all things gummy?

Serena: I see they act alone now.
Blair: (looking at Penelope, Isabel and Hazel) It's so hard finding obedient minions.

Serena: (reading Gossip Girl on Blair's phone) Nothing yet on Lonely Boy though we did find out he brown-bags it for lunch and today's plat du jour, a tuna sandwich. Disgusting but not enough for a conviction. Keep digging, kiddies.
Blair: Tuna fish? Why does he make it so hard for himself?

Blair: (to Serena) Apparently, Gossip Girl is looking for evidence that Dan's cheating on you. Not that anyone else would ever want Dan Humphrey. No offence.

Jack: (talking about Chuck on the phone) What do you say we throw him a party to celebrate his running the company.
Blair: Why not celebrate Bart dieing, that would be just as tasteless.

Chuck: Look, I owe you a lot Jack. You saved my life when I didn't want to be saved.
Jack: Well, you noticed that Thai waitress I was going to take on the other night had a thingy. Consider us even.

Gossip Girl: (voiceover) Is lowly Lonely Boy cheating on our queen? Sound unlikely? Does the name Georgina ring a bell? Get out your shovels and start digging the dirt, kids. Gossip Girl's gonna need a little help getting to the bottom of this mess.

Serena: (talking about Lily) She usually is pretty honest about these things. Well a little too honest, actually. Supposedly Sarkozy was a bad kisser.
Dan: Yeah, well, that's a relief. Not the thing about Sarkozy. That's kind of disappointing.

Jenny: (to Erik and Jonathan) Oh, did you guys know that you have matching backpacks? It's so cute.

Blair: Your dad wrote you a letter? You have to read it.
Nate: Yeah. Aren't you curious to know what it says?
Chuck: I think I can guess. You're a disappointment of a son. I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already. Why do you wear so much purple?

Lawyer: Now Charles, your Uncle Jack Bass is your closest living relative and, as such, has been named as your legal guardian. Are you comfortable with this?
Chuck: (to Jack) Curfew?
Jack: None.
Chuck: Girls sleeping over?
Jack: Yes, please.
Chuck: I'll allow it. edit »Jack: Come out with me tonight.
Blair: I told you I'm not interested.
Jack: Didn't seem that way on New Year's.
Blair: Whatever may have transpired between us, what's important is what it means to me. Which is nothing.

Gossip Girl: (opening voiceover) When most people lose a parent, they inherit sorrow, loss and a closet full of outdated clothes. But on the Upper East Side, death's sad chapter comes with a silver lining, or a gold one, if your relatives invested wisely in precious metals.

[~ ♥ Mariska ♥ ~]

Thanks for sharing, Meg!
Those are great!!

[Isabella]

Thanks for those
My fave is ...

" goolgle revenge and you get blairwaldorf.com " lol so funny